Caught at the End
At the end of what you ask? At the end of all hope. Most recently I had an encounter with a small bird that reminded me of what it’s like to be at this place. A place where lack of nourishment, unsafe conditions, anxiety, and injury all contribute to a rapid demise. As much as I’d prefer to not remember what that feels like, it’s memories like those that keep me thankful that I was caught at the end!
Maintenance, oil, filter and tires flashed across my dashboard indicating it was time to get my car serviced again. I called the dealer, scheduled an appointment and strolled in Friday mid-morning to get this taken care of. What I thought was going to be my usual, non-eventful, “change the oil” experience turned out to be a little different than I expected. I usually sit in the air conditioned waiting room where they serve courtesy popcorn, coffee, water, and even doughnuts all in an effort of making the waiting period more bearable. This time was different though. My husband, Frankie, was with me and he of course wanted to check out the latest model car so we made our way across the parking lot under the scorching sun. After about 15 minutes the sweat was literally dripping down my back when suddenly I caught a glimpse of it, my saving grace, a small wooden gazebo where I could take refuge from the blazing sun and rest until we were ready to go back to the comfort of the 72 degree waiting room.
As I stepped up onto the wooden frame floor of the gazebo, I immediately stumbled upon a baby bird camouflaged onto the floor. I had to question what I was seeing, as this was certainly not the place for a bird. He was tiny, and as I bent over in bewilderment over why he was there, he chirped and tried walking towards me with obvious difficulty. He was definitely injured. I imagined his nest was somewhere in the tree that hung over the gazebo. It was apparent that someone had found the bird before I had, as the cap of a water bottle had been filled with water and placed near for him to drink. Unfortunately, this baby bird was way too small to drink on his own or fend for himself in any way.
Although I had no idea how to begin caring for this little one, I asked the salesman for an empty box and decided I would take him home and search the internet for information on what to do next. I scooped the little fellow up, put him into the box and rested knowing that I had at least managed to remove him from this unsafe place. After all, it was only a matter of time before a squirrel or other predator would have eaten him.
Not 10 minutes had passed when the bird became very anxious. He was attempting to walk but in spite of all his efforts and due to his injury, he remained in the same place. His intention was only evident because of the scratching sound on the cardboard box. Within a matter of minutes the baby bird plopped over and died. It was then I realized, I had caught him at the end!
There have been times in my life where if it hadn’t been for divine intervention, I too would have plopped over and given in to my circumstances. Just like the bird, I’ve had injuries that have held me back and in spite of all the human effort I’ve put forth into freeing myself all I have produced has been an empty sound. I have allowed anxiety, fear, stress, and other emotions to create an unsafe place for me and have fed these emotions by depriving myself of true spiritual nourishment necessary for growth, health, and good condition.
It was unfortunate for this little bird that as I caught him at the end, I was limited as to what I could do to turn things around for him. Today, I not only understand what it’s like to be at the end, but I also understand what it’s like to be caught by the Hand of God at the end. Only that can make a difference!
Has the Hand of God caught you at the end?
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
Several weeks ago I ran across a fun questionnaire of sorts on a social media channel. Without any prompting, one was supposed to pose the questions to their child and obtain an unrehearsed, honest answer. If anyone remembers the show, Kids Say the Darndest Things, then you can imagine that this impromptu game has the potential of making you roll over in laughter, all the while attempting to pick your jaw up off the floor due to the bizarre responses. Because I thought the questions were amusing, I couldn’t resist putting my two ladybugs , Sky and Rain, on the hot seat, all for a good laugh. [featured-image single_newwindow=”false”]
And a good laugh I did get! Hearing answers to questions such as, If your mom was a character, who would she be? – Wonder Woman, or What does your mom do for a job? – She works shooting videos, really gave me a good chuckle. But in the midst of it all, I should have known that God was going to show me something. Isn’t it like Him never to waste a teachable moment? Question #20 asked: How do you know your mom loves you? My 8 year old, Rain, responded with a twinkle in her eye, –“Because you give me lots of hugs and kisses and you tell me you love me”. Her answer, rooted in complete innocence, melted my heart! Sky’s answer, however, I didn’t expect, -“Because you don’t let me do everything I want to do”. “Genius”, I thought! And then it hit me; my 13 year old daughter understands the concept that took me years to learn.
I can’t tell you the many times I have seen God’s restrictions and denials as less than love. In some instances, I have even seen them as punishment. If He really loved me, He would have helped me work that relationship out. If He really loved me, He would have given me that job promotion. If He really loved me, He would have made that business deal pan out. And the list goes on. When my expectations haven’t been met I have been quick to question God and His motives and sulk.
There is a famous poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning whose title I believe you might be familiar with, How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Count the Ways. I believe the Lord would sum up the ways He loves us in one phrase:
- In a Personal Manner
A love so specific to each of us that He recognizes our voice from within a crowd of people. A connection so intimate that He is involved in everything we do. An interest on His part to see His purpose in us fulfilled, even if it means saying No at times.
Like Sky, I have now gotten to a place where I recognize that what He withholds from me or what He keeps me from is not because He doesn’t love me but because He does!
What we think we need is not necessarily what God knows we need. Have you ever felt that God hasn’t let you do something you wanted to do?
Welcome to My Blog
Hello everyone. Welcome to my blog. My name is Rosie Jensing and I am thrilled you have stopped by to both read and share along with me!
My writing adventures began several years ago as I wrote short stories to accompany designs for an inspirational jewelry line I had created. It began as nothing more than a hobby at first but when I observed the connection women were having with the message that accompanied the bracelets and how what I was writing was impacting their lives, it motivated me to write more. My tag line for my jewelry business became “Our bracelets are for everyone…but the message is for the believer”!
Ever since then writing has become more than just a hobby…its an outlet of communication for me where I can share from the deep places of my heart. Those places I would rather leave undisturbed and ignored because they cause too much pain to revisit. My writing is based out of moments and experiences rooted in weakness and not my strengths. You see, its easy for me to try and lead you with false illusions of how perfect I am and how I have it all together; I don’t. My goal is that as I write out of my failures, it provides an opportunity for you to avoid the same stumbling blocks that have tripped me up. If you, like me, have already stumbled and failed at something in life, I pray you find hope in the glimpses of Jesus I hope to show you throughout my writing. And just like my jewelry line, my blog is for everyone…but the message is for the believer!
Please give me your feedback in the comments section. I will read every comment and respond as I am able. You can also hit the “subscribe” button to be notified by email each time I post. I look forward to connecting with you!