The Haters Club
As opposed to other clubs where the initiation process can be quite difficult, getting into The Haters Club is an effortless task. Obtaining a membership is as easy as harboring even the most minute amount of unforgiveness towards someone and you automatically gain full access to the club.
The club has many perks of which its members delight in including a license to hang on to anger indefinitely, a license to control, as well as the ability to keep the offender “on the hook”. These all seem very appealing but they come with a price.
Perhaps you have heard the phrase:
there is a fine line between love and hate
If you have ever been in love then you might agree it is one of the strongest feelings you can ever experience. You probably have mental archives full of details such as the place you and your “plus-one” first met, your first date, your first kiss, your first dance, and the list goes on. As a matter of fact there is probably a whole section of your memory dedicated only to this. Some might call it a tad bit obsessive.
Hate functions in much the same way. In fact, it is scientifically proven that hate is an all-consuming passion, just like love, which uses many of the same neural circuits in the brain. You have a perfect recollection of what the object of your hatred did, what they said, the place you were at, how you reacted, and the list goes on. Just like love, the circumstances take up valuable space in your mind and you are able to play them over and over in your head just like a classical movie.
Understandably, there are offenses others commit against us that leave us not only wanting to be members of the club but actually make us want to run for president. But before we run off and start a presidential campaign, we must be reminded that the price of hate is enslavement.
Recently, I was deeply touched by something I read on a social media site. It was a bereaved husband’s letter to a terrorist group titled “You will not have my hatred”. Though Leiris never states in this letter that he forgives, he obviously understands the price to pay for hatred. This is why he repeatedly tells the terrorists that he and his son will continue to walk around in freedom and that they will not respond to the terrorist behavior in anger.
Speaking as someone who has been on both sides of the fence, I can tell you that it is much more difficult to be the one extending the forgiveness then to be the one receiving it. Though this may seem obvious, what may not be as obvious is that the reward is also greater for the same.
…Because forgiveness is not about letting anyone off the hook but yourself. This is where true freedom lies!
Are you ready to give up your membership?
To read “You will not have my hatred” in its entirety please click here.
When God Says Go…
If you can’t beat them, join them
is what the popular phrase suggests. I learned this very quickly many years ago when the Jensing began bringing home DVD’s with the then, up and coming, sport of mixed martial arts. Now, on any given Saturday night, it is pretty much a sure thing that we will be watching a UFC fight, where most of the top ranked fighters of the sport are featured. I have seen many great fighters throughout the years rise up, fall down, and retire; somewhat typical. But there is something about a fighter who comes to fight, When God Says Go!
Now, you may not be into this type of sport, but before you decide you can’t relate, let me remind you that at some point in life you either have or will be told by God to Go. Though your platform may be different, the performance expected form you will be the same; to push through, win, and cause an upset!
In the world of combat sports every once in a while we run into a fighter who is quickly categorized as invincible. They gain a certain status and are even considered Prodigies of the sport. These are few, but when one rises up all other contenders are usually defeated before they even face off with the champion. That is, unless they were told to Go.
Saturday night was a perfect example of stepping out on such a command. Holly Holm, the underdog and least expected to win because of her subdued approach to the fight, faced the reigning, undefeated champion Ronda Rousey. No one knew much about Holm and frankly no one cared much about inquiring, as before the fight even came to be she had already been labeled as defeated by many.
A turn of events did take place, and what a surprise it was!
Although Holm prepared for every possible strategy Rousey could have attempted, Holm’s win was not reliant on what Rousey would or would not do, instead Holly Holm concentrated on what she had control over; what she was going to do.
And there my friend lies the answer!
She went into the octagon with a plan and knowing it was her time. She carried out her plan, uninterrupted, and against all odds walked away with the title.
When God Says Go, He equips us with a plan and He sets up the moment. It is a plan for a sure win that supersedes any plan that we could have come up with on our own. When God says go, the timing is perfect and the moment is ripe.
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time – 1 Peter 5:6
At the end of the night, the call Holly Holm had been waiting for was made:
And New UFC bantamweight champion of the world
Some are calling it the biggest upset in UFC history. I call it, When God Says Go!
God exalts in due time. What call are you waiting to hear? And New…
Plan B was Always Plan A
Thirty eight years I lived in Miami. I must admit that when the opportunity to move presented itself, I was excited. A new place, new people, different weather; Texas was going to be a great home! The only thing standing between me and a new pair of cowgirl boots was The Jensing’s background screen. After 3 intense interviews, and a drug screen, all we were waiting for was for the background screening to clear for Plan A to be official.
One week passed, two weeks passed, and then a third and fourth week, and we were still in the waiting process. Meanwhile, the frustration level kept increasing. Just then we heard back, but not exactly from the company in Texas. Instead, a company that The Jensing had applied to 9 months earlier suddenly decided to call him in for an interview. The only problem was this job was in the wrong state; Florida…Tampa to be exact.
You see if I was going to make a move, I wanted it to be a BIG move…and you know what they say…
everything’s BIGGER in Texas
Needless to say, I was not happy about the call and was really hoping that this would lead to a dead end.
No sooner had he gone in for an interview, when he was called in for a second one. The drug screening and background results came back in no time and before we knew it, we were moving; just not to the right place. Plan B was in full effect!
None of it made sense to me at the time. Nine months earlier! Really?!
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? You put all your eggs in one basket (basket A), only to have them crushed!
This is what I call a hostile takeover by Plan B.
Recently, it has occurred to me that in situations like this Plan B was always Plan A. Let me explain.
Lets’ take Mary for example. Everyone is familiar with her; pure, virtuous, innocent. As great as all this sounds, I am sure that being the mother of the savior of this world was not Plan A for her. In fact what young girl ever dreams of becoming pregnant out of wedlock?
If Mary’s Plan A was anything like your typical young girl, she was probably in between getting fitted for her wedding dress and deciding between chicken or beef for the reception. When all of a sudden Plan B came knocking at the door. Talk about a hostile takeover! Mary had no say so in the situation.
If you have read the rest of the story then you know what happens next. If you haven’t then I warn you now *Spoiler Alert*!
She kicked?! She screamed?! She yelled?!
Actually, none of the above took place, instead she saw Plan B for what it really was; a Divine Interruption! It was her life lining up to the Word of God and that was enough for her.
And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord, Be it unto me according to thy Word Luke 1:38
I wish I could say I have it all down packed like Mary did. I don’t.
We have been living in Tampa for 2 years now and today I can honestly say that as much as I thought Plan B was a hostile takeover, today I see it for what it really was; a Divine Interruption!
I pray you are in a place where it doesn’t take you 2 years to recognize the blessing in Plan B.
After all, Plan B was always Plan A!
What was Plan A for you and what Divine Interruption are you facing?
Advance to Go and Collect $200
Carefree; that’s the word that comes to mind when I try and sum up my attitude growing up. I am sure I am not alone in this. Walking around day to day not worried about a thing. Fully convinced that life was easy and that if a little hiccup happened to pop up, mom was going to take care of it. …And that is the way it usually was. Boy, there was nothing mom couldn’t solve!
Whether a last minute school project, or a 3:00am fever, mom would step out of the phone booth and with a faster resolve than superman she would make everything alright again. It was as if she had special powers; powers to make things better even when they appeared to be at their worst. It was a sure thing with mom. Nothing was left to chance.
I don’t recall exactly when it was that I realized mom couldn’t fix it all. Perhaps it was the time when I received unexpected dreadful news at the Doctor, or maybe it was the time when a storm came and destroyed our home. Some of us wake up to this reality sooner than others but no matter when that time comes, the sentiment is the same; vulnerability. It is as if though we are suddenly an open target to everything.
The orange deck of cards in the ever so popular Monopoly game known as the “Chance” cards remind me of what it’s like to live in this helpless state. Going back 3 spaces, paying poor tax, paying money on repairs for all property, and going straight to jail are just some of what may come up when you pick a Chance card; not exactly the most favorable moves on the board. In fact, some of these moves can break you to where you are no longer even in the game.
Sound familiar? A divorce, losing a job, losing a loved one, or even a foreclosure amongst many other things can leave us feeling like we are out of the game. This is life without hope.
You see, my mother represented hope for me even in the worst of circumstances. Though difficult times came as I was growing up, my faith in that she would come through for me was so big that it diminished the discomfort of the current situation. Difficult times are bound to come. Matthew 5:45 says
Rain will fall on the just and the unjust
It’s about who we have our hope on that makes the difference.
Today, as an adult I recognize the humanity of my mother, and have found a replacement for my hope. He comforts me, He keeps me in the game, and He fixes it all. He never fails, is always on time, and always makes things better. He promises me I don’t have to live by chance. And the best part of it all is He tells me to
Advance to Go and collect $200.
Who is your hope set on today?
Thoroughbred
In a world full of races, it is sometimes hard to maintain a positive outlook. Winning one race can be attributed to having a good day. Winning a second can be attributed to luck. But winning a third goes beyond just a serendipitous moment. The superstitious would say this type of favor only comes when the stars align; something that doesn’t happen too often.
Even if you don’t follow horse racing, it was virtually impossible not to hear about thoroughbred, American Pharoah, as he walked away with the Triple Crown championship this past summer since the last time it was conquered in 1978. The most prestigious championship a thoroughbred could win didn’t come easy. The Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes were the three races American Pharoah competed in and won, that brought him the Triple Crown victory.
So is it all pure luck or does talent play a bigger role?
Thirty seven years is the amount of time that passed from the last Triple Crown victory up until American Pharoah took the prize. If talent is was it is all about then we would be suggesting that in 37 years there has been no other horse that possessed the giftedness to win the championship. Highly unlikely!
Skill is not the only thing that guarantees the win. As a matter of fact, the Irish got it right in their proverb:
the best horse does not always win the race”.
Though there will always be pre-race favorites, we must remember that talented horses lose races they should be winning every day.
So if it’s not just luck and it’s not just talent, then what makes for a Triple Crown victory?
I believe the answer to that would be timing.
Every horse has its time and every person has there moment.
You see, it’s not just about speed and endurance, although this too is tested in the race. But it is more so about being in the right place at the right time. There is something about being divinely positioned that sets us up for the victory. Then and only then does the super invade our natural to align us for the win.
There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven- Ecclesiastes 3:1 Amplified
Are you aligned for the win today?
Thoroughbred
Claustrophobia is defined as an extreme or irrational fear of confined places. Although more commonly categorized as a human disorder, it can affect horses as well. In fact, horses are born with an instinctive fight or flight response that can be activated in response to their aversion of small spaces. Feeling the sidewalls of the stalls pressing in on its flanks can trigger a horse to panic and in turn be scratched from the race, losing before the race even begins. For this reason, a horse must be gate trained.
Gate training includes loading the horse into the gate and getting him to remain still until the front gate swings wide open, as well as desensitizing the horse to the noises that could potentially upset him as he waits at the starting gate. Bells, cheers, horns, applauses, loudspeakers, trumpets and rattles are just a few of the noises that could distract the horse at the starting gate. Assuring the horse is calm at the gate plays a big part in its success in the race. An anxious and mentally distraught horse will not perform as well as its confident opponents.
Oh, what a finicky animal a racehorse can be!
Does this sound familiar to you?
Every item in your checklist has been crossed off. Even the smallest detail has been taken into consideration. You are as prepared as you will ever be. But just as you are about to break forth you begin to feel the pressure of what lies ahead. You suddenly get a case of the “what if’s”.
What if I can’t perform the way I thought I would?
What if I can’t meet others expectations?
What if I’m not as talented as I thought I was?
What if…
Panic wants to set in and you fight to keep your composure. Countless hours of work, and just like a racehorse, one misstep can cause you to be scratched from the race.
Suddenly your fight or flight response overtakes you, and you are tempted to run. The noise is consuming you. Some chant for you, some murmur against you. Some speak of your victory, others speak of your defeat. There is a mixture of cheers and rattles. Everyone is watching.
What are YOU going to do?
Thoroughbred
There can only be one winner in the race and everybody knows it. This is the reason why those placing bets are so careful about their selection. The stakes can get very high and choosing the wrong horse can cost someone thousands of dollars. Everyone scouts the horses in search for a horse of a different color.
As mentioned before, the paddock is the green area where the horses are saddled prior to the race, as well as where the onlookers can more carefully examine the prospects. Although all the horses in the paddock have been trained for the race, there is only one that has been trained for the win.
The telltale signs of a horse that is not ready for the race are obvious; sluggishness, nervousness, sweating, holding its head down, and bucking. This can be seen in many a horse but what is few and far between is the spirit of confidence found in a champion horse.
A horse isn’t born with race winning confidence but instead is trained up this way. There are many factors that contribute into this training including how the horse is handled, consistency, reliability, and connection. The trainer works hard at establishing these core fundamentals off the track in order that the horse would be successful on the track. Because a good trainer knows that a champion spirit is built behind the scenes and not when crossing the finish line.
A horse of a different color is a rare commodity. It is the excellence in which it performs that separates it from the rest. Contrary to what some believe, it is the effort and discipline before the race that bring the win and not a streak of luck.
I like to believe that I am a horse of a different color ready for the race. Although, I have to admit there are times I feel more like a pony going around in circles in an endless ring. As I patiently wait for my turn to be loaded into the starting gate, I am reminded continually that my race has been promised and I have been bred for the win.
A champion horse is a product of its trainer and likewise, we are products of a master trainer. One who handles us gently and knows when to pull the reins. One who is consistent in His love for us and never gives up in spite of our “pony” moments. One we can rely on to strengthen our weak areas before ever putting us out on the track, and finally, One who we have connection with.
Take a close look at yourself today. Are all bets on you?
Thoroughbred
Although the chances of me ever having a racehorse are slim to none, if I ever owned one, his name would undoubtedly be Smelly Barbarelly. This is the name of my imaginary race horse endearingly named after my sister, Barbie, who is a horse racing enthusiast.
This past summer the horse racing world was all a stirred as thoroughbred, American Pharoah, won the Triple Crown since the last Triple Crown victory in 1978. If you have ever had the chance of watching a horse race, then you have been a witness to the intensity that builds up all throughout a day at the races. Although the highest point of excitement is without a doubt observing the line of horses across the starting gate waiting to break, there is a lot that takes place prior to this pivotal moment.
Before ever being loaded into the gates, each horse is paraded in the Paddock. This is the green area where they are saddled and then walked around a ring where they can be observed to determine their alertness, relaxation, and looseness all in anticipation of the big run.
Even the best trained horse can have an off day but preparation minimizes the chances of this happening. A well trained horse is conditioned to perform at its best no matter what the state of the track is; good, wet, muddy, or sloppy. However, this doesn’t happen overnight. Countless hours of practice are put in both by the horse and the trainer in order to bring the horse to a state of readiness for such a competition.
Since these thoroughbreds are all young horses, they are all green to the ins and outs of the racing world. They must practice performing with the weight of the saddle, tightening of the girth, the feel of a bit in their mouth and after they master this, they must learn how to handle themselves with the weight of the jockey on their back.
The race itself brings just as many challenges as does the preparation. In order to successfully deal with these challenges, often times the horse is trained for the race with blinkers which keep him from being spooked and distracted by his surroundings. The noise from the spectators, the pounding of the hooves, and virtually anything else can keep the horse from performing at its best and so every detail is taken into consideration to allow for the horses optimal level of success.
It is amazing to me how similar our lives are to a race horses! Can you see the correlation? We too are being prepared for a race but before ever being deemed ready to be positioned at the starting gate we must be broken in.
- As the popular saying goes, we must first Saddle Up. Prepare for the ride by accepting our assignment and stepping out. He has saved us and called us to a holy life-not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace…2 Timothy 1:9
- Tighten our Girth . Ephesians 6:14 says it this way, Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth. Being firmly established in the truth of God’s Word and wrapping it around us promises us the race.
- Placing the bit in our mouth. The bit in the horse’s mouth is how the jockey communicates with the horse and calls him to obedience. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. James 3:3 Likewise, we should liken our words to Christ’s so that we too would remain in obedience.
- Handle ourselves with the weight of the rider. Our walk is not our own and our victories are not solely ours. They are for the benefit of the body. We must learn how to carry others through the race until they are ready to ride on their own. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
- Blinkers-On. Philippians 4:13 says, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. The race in order to reach the prize is non-negotiable. At all cost, distractions must be avoided. We must put on our spiritual blinders and keep from looking to the left or the right. This is the only way to reach the prize.
And lastly, to be reminded of our ability to win the race, we must keep one thing close to our heart at all times… we too are Thoroughbreds.
…for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:4
Have you claimed your breed yet?
Photo Credit: Pete Markham
If the Shoe Fits, Don’t Wear It!
Everybody knows that the rule of thumb when shopping for kids school shoes is to purchase those that are at least half a size bigger to allow ample room for growth during the school year. As a child, I remember having my mom bend down to touch the front of my shoes to feel for my toes. This toe test helped her determine if the shoes fit, and if they did, I wouldn’t be wearing them. A bigger size was necessary!
These days, I still find myself using the toe test but not only as I buy shoes for my daughters. I more so use it to measure the different areas in my life.
Let me explain. You see, the concept remains the same. When we are comfortable with an area of our life whether career, relationships, choices, finances, body image, or even a pattern of thinking, we should know there isn’t any room to grow. And just like a pair of shoes that fits snug, something bigger is necessary!
A more familiar term to describe this limited mentality might be comfort zone.
Everyone has one. This is the place where we don’t need God to succeed. Here, we remain well within our boundaries and can manage everything on our own. It is a place where challenge does not exist and neither does promotion.
Comfort is closely related to complacency and this is where the problem lies. When we become complacent we lose our vision for anything bigger. It is much easier to stick to what we know is safe.
Recently, I stepped out of my comfort zone and began writing a weekly blog. Although I enjoy writing and providing inspiration to others through the written word, it was a challenge to commit to writing on a weekly basis and in a blog format. Will people read what I write? Will what I write touch the lives of others? Will I have something different to write about every week? These and many more questions arose as I toyed with the idea.
Stepping into an environment that is bigger than what we know and are familiar with, forces us to expand our knowledge and stretch our thoughts.
As uncomfortable as it is to step beyond the place of familiarity, true growth can only take place when we reach the end of our abilities and enter into the beginning of God’s. For me, this is the place where I rely on Him to show up in order to be successful. It is the place where my heart flutters in uncertainty of what lies ahead. It is the place where the shoe is a little big for me, but I chose to wear it anyway and trust that God will help me grow into it.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I pray today that if the shoe fits, you don’t wear it and look for a bigger pair instead. After all, who could say no to a new pair of shoes?!
…By the way, this article was included in a compilation of posts on “Cheerleader of Faith”, Kelly Balarie’s blog. Please visit her site today, Purposeful Faith, and check out the other wonderful writers who are sharing their encouraging posts, I promise you will be blessed!
Jesus Doesn’t Say the “F” Word
There are several choice words that Jesus doesn’t have in His vocabulary and the F word is no exception. Now, before your mind goes astray, let me clarify. I am not speaking of the F-bomb (as we commonly refer to) that is sometimes thrown around to shock and offend others. It is obvious that is not a word that we would ever hear Jesus say. Yet, there are other words that are not as distinct, and although not obscene in nature, but still not a part of Jesus’ everyday word-stock.
The four letter word I am referring to is FAIL.
While hanging out with our girls this weekend, in between laughter and crazy conversation, we spotted a limousine that had broken down in a shopping center. It was about 9:00pm and it was obvious the limousine was transporting someone somewhere and to put it simply, the situation was not the best. As we talked about how terrible it must have been to be stranded, our expressive little Rain, couldn’t resist throwing in her two cents and blurted out how being in that situation really “sucks”!
Now if you’re reading this blog, I am assuming you are old enough to know what appropriate language is, so I will refrain from turning this into an etiquette lesson. However, if you parent little ones, you can understand there are words we just don’t want our children saying. The Jensing took a moment to explain that we don’t use words like this to express ourselves but Rain was stuck on how suck isn’t a bad word.
My explanation is always the same: there are bad words and then there are ugly words, and sucks happens to be an ugly one. As elementary as this sounds, this was all she needed to hear, to understand that this could not be a part of her everyday word-stock.
If we had allowed Rain to use this word and hadn’t called her out on it, she would have assimilated it as an acceptable form of expression. What’s more, this term would have become one she could identify with at any given point had she given it permission to exist in her vocabulary.
There are many words that Jesus doesn’t say, but without a doubt, Jesus doesn’t say Fail. To allow this word to be part of His vocabulary implies that it is not only acceptable but that at some point He could identify with it, which we all know He cannot.
This causes me to analyze the words I have been accepting in my life and identifying with, as well as at what point I allowed them to become part of my vocabulary. Some of these words are learned, some we acquire as a result of experience, and yet others are given to us.
The good news is that our vocabulary is solely ours and can be revamped at any given time.
Today, I chose to accept and identify with the following: redeemed, restored, released, victorious, fierce, brave, and dauntless.
What ugly words have you been allowing in your life and what new ones are you going to replace them with?